To all my East coast friends: don’t judge.
To all my Midwest friends: you know what’s up.
Wal-Mart is heaven on earth.
Since I’ve been home, I’ve been to Wal-Mart about 15 times…
and once I went three times in one day.
It’s not an addiction, it’s a lifestyle choice.
Seriously, where else can I get everything from gum to guns
to gardening equipment? From bedding to baby clothes to beer? From fish to
first aid stuff to furniture? From televisions to toys to Theraflu?
It literally has everything you could possibly want (minus
dignity, which you immediately lose when you walk in the door)
Perhaps what I love the most about Wal-Mart, however, are
the many different people you see there.
For instance, on one of the days I was there multiple times,
I saw the same family twice, about 3 hours apart… and each time they had a cart
full of things. Oh and the little boys both had pasty skin, mohawks, and neck
cords to hold on their glasses.
Just the other day I was at Wal-Mart at about 5 PM when I
passed a couple in the produce section. As I walked by, I almost passed out
from the alcohol fumes wafting off of them. Getting drunk in the afternoon then
shopping for tomatoes at Wal-Mart is normal, right?
Other times I’ve seen three little boys and their Grandma.
None of the three boys were wearing shoes and two of them did not even have on
shirts.
(Going barefoot in Wal-Mart is not unheard of, however. I
know for a fact that a certain someone who shall remain nameless (*cough*
Raeann *cough*) went into Wal-Mart barefoot just a few summers ago)
Don’t believe me that you can meet awesome people there?
Well check out peopleofwalmart.com for more proof.
And now, quit reading my blog and go to Wal-Mart to browse
their $5 DVD bin.
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