Well, I was counting on the world to end last night so I
didn’t write my weekly “blog” (aka pathetic journal of captivity) until I woke
up this morning and realized my dreams of a doomsday ushered in by all four
horsemen of the apocalypse was just that; a dream.
I'm so depressed about this that I might not even get up today
Sorry if that seems a littler over dramatic but I do live
with someone who regularly watches drivel on the CW and judges Grey’s Anatomy episodes based on whether
she cries or not. “Over dramatic” is kind of part of my daily routine.
I should be grateful though, some people go through their
entire life without finding their calling; drifting aimlessly about looking for
a purpose. I, at least have been lucky enough to find mine: making Katie
miserable.
This last week she spent hours downloading music and
organizing her iTunes into perfect little playlists. She even recommended songs
to a few people. It’s pretty obvious she things she has good taste in music. It
would b hilarious if it wasn’t so pathetic. After all, let’s not forget that
“Straight Up” by Paula Abdul is in her top 10 most played list…
We drove back to Pierre this week for Christmas and an eye
appointment Katie had. I haven’t quite figured this whole “Christmas” thing out
yet. I’m given to understand that it is a day celebrating the birth of the
Christian version of the Messiah. But I also understand that this “Jesus”
character was actually born in July or August but instead chooses to celebrate
his birthday in the dead of winter. On top of that, his birthday is some how
connected with a fat man in a red suit who breaks and enters into people’s
houses through a chimney to leave presents. Apparently, it is impossible for
this man to enter buildings unless they are covered in cheesy decorations and
lights. Like I said, I don’t really get this Christmas thing.
Can you see me amidst all these tack decorations?
Anyway, while in Pierre, Katie went to visit two of her
friends who are teachers and got talked into doing a reading project with the
students. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: willingly allowing someone
like Katie around children will be looked on by historians years from now as
the beginning of the end of American’s global dominance. But I digress. We read
“The Grinch” out loud to the class. It’s kind of ironic because I’ve always
thought of Katie as a mix between the Grinch and a dementor from Harry Potter. As far as a dementor goes,
she sucks the life and soul out of everyone she meets, leaving them crippled
half-shells of their former selves. And just like the Grinch, she’s not very
pleasant to look at, hasn’t mastered basic social skills, and constantly wears
ill-fitting clothing that makes you cringe. To quote “The Grinch,” the three
words that describe her are “stink, stank, stunk.”
Am I the only one who sees the resemblance?
Those are really the only things I’ve got going this week.
Plus, I’m in the process of googling more about Christmas. I’m really trying to
understand this thing. Until next week, I’m Ivan Denisovich. God bless.
