Katie and I did a whole bunch of nothing this week.
Literally nothing. Pretty sure her butt is staring to graft itself to the
nearest surface as we speak. I’m not even going to bother detailing my week
because it would put you to sleep. I’ve basically spent every waking hour
planning more and more outlandish ways to kill Katie. It’s kind of fun and makes
time pass slightly faster.
The only thing I did of note this whole week was go to an
11-year-old’s birthday party. Yeah, I thought it was creepy too. Whatever.
Emry, the girl we met previously, was finally celebrating
her birthday even though it was almost a full month ago. If you ask me, she was
just milking it for all the attention she could get. Probably learned that from
Katie.
Anyway, at the party, I was introduced to a foul little
creature named Wrinkles that Emry and her friends seemed to like although he
manhandled me in an unacceptable manner.
When I told the girls I had enough and was going to kill
Wrinkles, they jumped on the bandwagon and helped me plot his murder. WARNING:
The following is a graphic image that may not be suitable for all ages. Viewer
discretion is advised.
And for your information, that picture was taken by a 5th
grader. Are we sure we really want Katie around the youth of America? Seems
like a bad idea to me.
Hopefully I have something more exciting to report next week
(fingers crossed it’s Katie’s death). Until then, I’m Ivan Denisovich. God
bless.
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